Today's the daaaaaaaaaaaaay

The sun shine is shining, the tank is clean, and we are getting out of - the tank is clean. THE TANK IS CLEAN! Lol sorry, had to get that out of the way. But yes, today is the day! The day we officially start packing and cleaning up! We're having our wake n bake right now so we can eat some breakfast, and then it'll be time to be productive.

The Mission

To get over fears. Fears of things that don't exist, usually. Here's the list:
-the dark
-spiders
-things from movies
-showers
-bathrooms
-mirrors
-Opened medicine cabinets
-washer/dryer
-Closing my eyes in the bathroom
-public restrooms
-zombies
-dead bugs
Open doors I'm not facing
Long hallways

List of compulsions
-rocking back and forth
-tapping fingers
-rubbing feet together
-holding breath
-counting
-thinking out loud
-turning on lights
-checking medicine cabinet
-closing washer/dryer doors
-Closing the bathroom door
-looking behind me

I've been working on stopping my compulsions for about a week now, maybe a week and a half. So far I've been able to find myself rocking, tapping and rubbing my feet together and stop, but making myself aware of it makes me feel like doing it more, which is really hard not to do at this point, but I think I'm doing really well for the short amount of time I've been trying this. The weird thing is realizing all of a sudden that I've been doing it for a least a few seconds without being aware of it. It's annoying, but I'm glad I've been doing so well. I've also been refraining from turning on the hallway light when I go to the bathroom, and leaving the washer/dryer doors and medicine cabinet open while I take a shower, and trying not to look behind me while I shower. I think I'm doing pretty well, but we'll see if it helps.

Beginning a journey

I've been watching a lot of tv shows lately, the latest of which being "Obsessed," which deals with the treatment of people with anxiety disorders, mainly OCD. I've been learning a lot about how the whole therapy process goes and I think I might be able to design my own plan of exercises and exposures to get over all of my... issues.... I made a list on a piece of paper yesterday of things I need to get over. It's fairly extensive, I'll have to add it as a separate entry. I also want to get more into my hobbies and playing music and not watching as much tv, as I think that might actually, at this point, be causing major problems.

Floating down the lazy river

I think today's the last day the boy and I well be letting ourselves be lazy and unproductive. Tomorrow we're gonna get started and see how much we get done. I think, if we start relatively early and keep working the whole day through we can get everything sorted and packed. Then we just need to find a truck or van to rent that'll fit at least almost everything. I'm getting so excited! We picked up our keys yesterday and hung out in the new place for a little bit, walked over to Barnes & Noble and Rubio's after a nice smoke. It was a good day. :) I'm looking foreward to going through everything and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. I want the new place to be neat and look good. So looking forward to the future!